Dear teachers....

Dear teachers…I’m nineteen-years-old now, and I’ve now finished doing sixteen years at school. And I'm not going to lie, it was hard. It was harder than anybody imagined.You have so many students to look out for, to teach, to encourage.... but one of those students was never me.I was overlooked, and I don't really know why. Perhaps it was because I'm different... Maybe it just didn't come of convenience to you to be able to take that extra few minutes to make sure that I was okay, that I understood what you were saying.After sixteen years of schooling, I've come out the other side. And yeah, I'm alright now.But I still can't go anywhere near a school without my heart rate going up. Without my palms getting sweaty, without the sound of ringing in my ears and teachers whispering to each other in the hallway about me.'What on earth is wrong with that child?"The past is in the past now (A Frozen quote would be going in this blog post somewhere), but it doesn't make the memories any easier. It doesn't make my childhood difficulties any less valid.And yeah, perhaps I'm nineteen years old now. And perhaps the struggles I suffered through in school are meaningless now.But really?They're not.Because in your classroom, that's full of so many neurotypical children that all look the same, and sound the same, and dress the same...There's a high chance that there's a child there... who is not the same.And this child probably spends their lunch times crying in the bathroom, because they so, so desperately want to make friends, but they don't know how.And this child probably tries so hard to keep their desk tidy and their books in order and their hand writing neat, but they don't know how.And this child who is just as important, and wonderful, and special and smart as any other child in that class room...Might just need a little bit of extra help from you. Might need your encouragement, a gentle hand to point them in the right direction. I know this. Because I was that child. I am that child, and this is what we want to tell you.....  

1. Please, don't 'assume' you know what autism is.

Autism is like a big, beautiful oak tree. There's the base of it, and then there's loads of branches that come out from everywhere.We share the same trunk, but there are so many branches, and sticks, and even tiny little twigs that make us unique and individual.If you don't know how to cope with me, if you have a question about me, just ask me. Or my parents.Don't assume that you understand something because you've read it in a big, fancy text book. Because I'm sure those text books are very lovely, and make you feel very smart.But I can't be confined into the words of a book.  2. I learn differently, and that's okayI don't understand and learn the same way you and the other kids do, and if I try and learn in that way... I won't learn.Sometimes when you use long sentences and big words with no pictures, I can get confused quite easily, even if it doesn't look like it.I don't like telling people that I don't understand questions, because they make me feel even more of an outcast thanI already feel... So I've taught myself how to memorise facts, and paragraphs, and stories. And I can nod along and pretend I understand, that it all makes sense.... but I don't really know what it all means sometimes.Sometimes language is hard for me, and hearing lots of talking ends up forming into a big mess inside of my head, so it’s a lot easier for me to learn in pictures, and slow words, and drawings on the board, and pieces of paper.Please be patient with me, and show me the questions rather than just telling me. Ask me if I need help, and come and sit with me to ensure that I understand.I'll blow you away with how smart I am.You just need to find what key fits the lock to unleash the greatness.  3. Please keep an eye on us.I know that you’ve got a lot of children to look after. I know that it's hard for you to help individual children. But that spare minute it will take to ensure that I'm okay, will change everything.I find it so, so hard to make friends. I just never know what to say... their language is strange to me, their ways of communicating are different than my own.And sometimes, kids can be mean. Really mean.I think other kids are scared of people being different to them, and I don't really know why, because my mum always tells me that different is a beautiful thing.But that extra little time you can take out to ensure that I'm safe, that I'm okay, that no ones hurting me, that I'm not locked in a bathroom crying for hours by myself......Could change everything.  4. Sometimes I need help to make friends.It may look like I don’t want to play with the other kids on the playground, but sometimes it’s just that I simply do not know how to start a conversation or enter a play situation. I feel silly, and awkward, and I feel like I'm intruding if I try and go up and play with someone on my own accord.Maybe you could go up to a nice little boy or girl in my class and encourage them to invite me to join them at kickball or skipping or tag...Sometimes, I don't want to play. And that's okay if I say 'no'.But other times, all I want in the world is a friend to be with.  5. Sometimes, I just need peace and quiet.So much happens in a classroom, and sometimes it can get too much or I feel like my head will explode into bits and pieces.I need a quiet spot so I can sit down and relax and recover. It doesn't have to be an entire area, I don't even have to leave the classroom, if that's not something that's accessible.Allowing me to listen to music in my headphones and close my eyes, or read an easy book, or colour in my favourite Disney drawing is enough.  6. I'm not naughty (...usually)I don't mean to be disruptive, but it's so hard to sit still in uncomfortable chairs with lots of things happening for long periods of time. I'm learning a lot, and that hurts my head. And when my head hurts, I need to move, and get energy out of my body.Moving helps me to stay calm, and focussed, and it will help me learn and be a better student.I can still listen to you even if my hands are moving, or if I'm rocking, or if I'm tapping my feet. I promise.  7.Focus on my strengths. Not on my weaknesses.Like any other human, I can not learn in an environment where I’m constantly made to feel that I’m not good enough, that I'm not worthy, that I'm worse than everyone else... and that I need 'fixing.'Love me, and encourage me, and teach me with what I have. Not by what I'm not.Look past the things I can not do.Look for my strengths and I promise you that will find them.There is more than one “right" way to do most things.  And most of all…Please... please.... Be patient with me.I am a child. And I learn in the same way that all children learn.With love, and patience, and kindness.Nurture me, and look for my strengths. Help me to grow and try and understand my crazy, beautiful, unique, wonderful mind.