Things Not To Say To Autistic People
As an autistic girl, and someone who has a lot of autistic friends, I’m always hearing comments regarding autism that are just plain and simple… wrong.These are 10 things that I am sick and tired of hearing.
- You seem normal to me or I never would have guessed
I’m good at pretend.You wouldn’t believe what we as autistic people go through just to try and fit in, to try and not stand out, to try and make ourselves fit in with the way that society wants us to be.It's hard work, and it's exhausting, and the very fact that we appear ‘normal’ (whatever that means), just shows that we're doing our job right.It takes so much energy for me to appear ‘normal’, for you it’s as deep as rolling out of bed.
- Were you vaccinated?
Girl. I’m not even going to dignify that with an answer.(Just kidding, of course I am.)Yes, I was vaccinated, because my parents aren’t idiots. (Too harsh?)There is literally no evidence… nada, zilch, zero, that vaccinations cause autism, and let's just say as a completely metaphorical statement that it did, would you rather a dead child than an autistic one?Choose your battles. 3. Aren’t we all a little bit autistic?'I guess we’re all a little bit blind.''I guess we’re all a little bit paralysed.''You have a nut allergy? Oh, me too! I don't really like nuts.''You're dyslexic? I struggle with spelling some words too, haha.''Alzheimers? I forget things too!'(See how silly you sound?)If you can't match an autistic persons life experiences, don't try and match our identity.
- Like Rainman? Like Sheldon Cooper?
Oh, you have brown skin. I knew you and Obama were related!Red hair? Ha! You must be Irish!No!Not every autistic person is the same, just like not every neurotypical person is the same.
- You don’t look autistic
Autism. Does. Not. Effect. What. I. Look. Like.What the heck on toast are autistic people meant to look like?
- Girls can’t be autistic
The only thing girls can’t be is ‘feeling safe while walking down the street at night’ and ‘having equal wages’Snap.Autism in girls is so often missed because our symptoms are often worlds different than boys on the spectrum- and we're often misdiagnosed with bipolar, or anxiety, or ADHD, or just about any condition in the known world that isn't autism.Autism in girls is real, and is valid just as much as any male on the spectrum.
- But you’re so extroverted!
The amount of times I've heard this is higher than I can count (although, that's not saying much.)Because I'm an absolute concert junkie, because I love going out and going to concerts and festivals and gigs, I'm suddenly 'not autistic,' or 'not autistic anymore.'Societies views on autism are so misjudged, that they believe that what you see on the outside, is enough to give away what we feel on the inside.I know autistic people that have very serious, 9-5 jobs.I know autistic people that are the dux of their school, and loved by everyone.Being autistic doesn't change our personality or our loves and interests, it just changes the way we need to cope with it.
- But only kids are autistic
Ah, right. Autistic children die off young.(Just kidding, no we don't because we've been vaccinated).
- My nephew/friend/cousin/bakers-wifes-brothers-childs-best friend is autistic… You’re nothing like them
Not all autistic people are the same, just like not every single neurotypical is the same.Just like every blind person is the same.Just like not every gay person is the same.Just like not every brunette is the same.Just like not every old person, young person is the same.We are all different.
- You just need to get out more.
Simply by saying that, you're taking away the struggles we're going through to get us to where we are in the first place.Forcing an autistic person into a box of what you believe they need to be like is not going to help anyone, it's only going to cause the autistic person to feel unworthy, trapped, and overloaded.Do not ever diminish who we are, and the struggles that we go through just to survive in this crazy world that we live in.