NEW YEAR... same me?
It’s New Years!Time for the millions of ‘New Year, New Me’ posts… UghCringe. I’ve never been one to partake in the whole ‘New Years Resolutions’ thing. Mainly because I find it silly, and ridiculous.Why is it that the entire world decides that because of a singular date on a calendar, the entire contents of the world will change? Miraculous things aren’t going to happen just because the clock flicked over, because you’re writing a new date in your diaries.Why do people think that the only time they’re able to make a positive change in their lives is on a day of the year which humans have decided is significant for some reason? The sun does the same thing, the moon does the same thing, the earth still spins the same way… Literally, nothing is different?I’ve never done ‘New Years Resolutions’. Mostly, because I find it absolutely, positively, utterly and completely ridiculous.Also…I never seem to be able to keep to it. Okay, okay, okay.So planning, organising, working towards goals… it’s never been my strong point.In my head I always have these massive plans and goals, but for some reason, I always kind of just… zone out before I have the opportunity to actually really get to them. They get lost, or become unimportant to me, or I just simply think about it, and for some reason don’t care anymore.Even if it’s really, super duper important.Sometimes especially when it’s really, super duper important. I dunno man, I don’t make the rules of my brain.I used to think that was just a ‘Chloe-being-lazy’ type of thing. That made sense, that’s what everyone else put it down to… but recently I’ve discovered it’s actually a thing. A real thing that other people on the spectrum struggle with too.Nah, it’s not called ‘chronic-aspie-laziness’. Listen up. That thing is called ‘Executive Dysfunction’. And it’s basically what happens when the part of your brain that’s responsible for planning, sequencing, prioritizing, completing and working towards goals… doesn’t really work.(Here we go, aspie kids. Use that on your parents next time they tell you you’re lazy). I guess in a way, it’s a lot like how I can’t process my sensors properly. Everything comes in all at the same time, all at once, and it’s hard to make sense of it all and put it into it’s respectful area.Likewise with this, there’s no real hierarchy of importance in my goals and planning… Like, in my head, staying up extremely late to watch re-runs of Little House On The Prairie is just as important as sleeping early, studying hard and eating well.And the steps to lead towards it kind of jumble all together and then just get lost all together… Kind of like when you go to your room to get something, and then stand there for a solid five minutes wondering ‘What am I doing in here?’(Please tell me that’s not just me.) I guess that’s why New Years Resolutions never worked for me, but why I’m planning on doing the whole, stupid, typical ‘New Year New Me’ thing anyway. But instead of setting up stupid, unrealistic resolutions (Because really? I know that within three days of saying ‘This year I’ll get fit!’ I’ll eat a tub of ice cream by myself and not leave my bed), I’m planning on making notes to myself.When I make ‘have to’s, I already know I’m setting myself up for failure, but by having simple things that I can remind myself, that I can do more often, that I can make mental notes of, they’re things that I can do subconsciously every day. So, here’s my list ofChloe’s Reminders To Herself for 2017:
- My disability does not define me
The things that a doctor, or a book, or a psychologist has put over me, do not define me. My likes, and my dislikes, and my interests, and the things I love, and the people I love, and the people who love me, and my outlook on life… that’s what defines me.
- Be kinder to myself.
This year, I’m not letting me take me for granted. I need to remember to go easy on myself, to let myself have bad days, to let myself be a human, for pete’s sake.I need to learn to love myself the same way that I love my dogs, my horses… Unconditionally.
- Just because I’m different, does not mean I am less.
I say this a lot, but I believe it with all my heart.My differences don’t make be bad, or worse, or less.My differences make me just that… different.Everyone in the world is different. That’s what makes the world so beautiful. The things that I struggle with, other people may find easy.And the things that I find easy, perhaps other people struggle with.I’m not going to let anyone… including myself… tell me that because I’m ‘different’, I’m any less amazing, or special, or wonderful, or perfectly-imperfect to anyone else. And that’s it. It’s simple, it’s fool proof.It’s important.It’s something that I think we all can remember. But in all honesty, New Years Resolutions are so stupid. Make yourself a better person every day… Don’t wait for a date on a calendar to tell you when to do so.You can work towards being a better person, work towards your goals, and wishes and aspirations every day.Wake up like it’s New Years every day. Thank you all so, so much for everything you’ve helped me with in 2016. I’ve achieved so much, and it’s so insane, and bizarre, and crazy, and I never thought it would happen in a million, billion years.Here’s to 2017. May it be more magical than ever.