Dear Mum....

Dear Autism Mumma…On International Women’s Day, there’s strong, beautiful, incredible women all over the globe being recognised for things they’ve done. For incredible feats, and amazing things.These women are amazing. They’re incredible, and the things that they’ve done for the world are absolutely mind blowing; Women that have sacrificed their lives for causes greater than anything most people can begin to understand, women who have defied all odds to achieve something incredible, women who help people, who save people, who have fought tirelessly for our rights, and for our voices…Women who have achieved utter greatness.And it’s so, so incredible that these women are recognised. Because they deserve it. Because women are strong as hell. And it’s so important that the world see’s that. But there’s a special type of woman that isn’t recognised as much. And maybe it’s because it’s something that is more mundane. That is an ‘every day’ thing.Maybe this woman hasn’t gone to war for her rights.Maybe this woman hasn’t sacrificed her life for a cause. But, this woman has fought with every ounce of her being for something just as important.This woman has sacrificed her life for something just as important. This woman has done something just as powerful, and incredible, and wonderful as all of those inspiring women that make the media.Their heroic acts are just more subtle… Like when The Incredibles are undercover.But, just because they’re not wearing their red and black spandex, it doesn’t make them any less… well, incredible. The women I’m talking about…Are autism mummas. I’ve never been very good at finding the words to say to make something sound formal, and beautiful, and like a Hallmark card.But I’m going to do my very best. I’m just going to do it the ‘Chloe way’.It’s seemed to work so far. So, this goes out to you. Autism mums…You are so, so unbelievably strong.And I want to honour you. On behalf of your child that maybe can’t, or hasn’t. And I know that maybe you feel that you don’t deserve honour, or a celebration, or recognition for what you do.Because at the end of the day, you’re a mum.And heck, mum’s in themselves are incredible. Mum’s in their own right deserve recognition for all they’ve done, for what they do for their families.And I know that you didn’t choose to be a special needs mum. But hey, I didn’t choose to be autistic (and even if I could choose… I would still choose it. Because I’m proud of it.)But as a child… or, a ‘young woman’ I suppose, who is proudly autistic… I truly think that being an autism mum is one of the most incredible, amazing jobs in the whole, wide world.And I want to honour you.Thank you. Thank you for fighting for us…. For being our biggest advocate.Thank you for being strong for us.Thank you for listening to us.Thank you for trying to understand us, and the way our beautiful minds work.Thank you for loving us unconditionally…. Even when we feel that we may not deserve it.Thank you for doing everything in your power for us.  My mum is my rock. She’s my safe place. She’s given up so, so much for me…. More than I can possibly ever comprehend. And the older I’ve gotten, the more and more I’ve seen this…Not only have I seen the sacrifices in my own mum; but in so, so many mums that have children who are on the spectrum.In a Disney fairy tale, you are the fairy God Mother, the warrior, the queen who makes it all work.And yes, kid’s on the spectrum are amazing.And we can do anything in the world that we put our minds to. And in our own rights, we’re princesses, and warriors, and fighters.But have you noticed that fairy tales always seem to work better when there’s someone by the protagonist’s side, making everything better?Thank you for being that person. For helping our fairy tales to have a happy ending.  Thank you for teaching us the ways of the world, for your patience… and for understanding that just because we may not fit it, it doesn’t mean that we can’t be apart of it.Thank you for being Dory’s parents. For the gentle reminders, and the silent messages… For putting routines in place to help us. Thank you for fighting for what’s right. For fighting for our voices. For advocating for us.As big or as little as they may be.Like Mrs Banks, or Mulan… You fight for what’s important.Us. Thank you for ensuring that no matter what, we’re accepted, and cared for, and treated right. That no matter what, we’re always safe. And cared for.That no one comes past us, without going through you first.Thank you for trying to see my world through my eyes… because I know that it can be so, so hard to understand how we work.To cope with the melt downs, and the inability to cope with certain textures, or changes, or things that seem so ‘simple’ to you.Because I know it’s hard for you… I know.(But imagine how hard it is for us.)Thank you for understanding our little quirks, and needs, and necessities (even if it doesn’t necessarily entirely make sense to you).For making the same breakfasts, lunches and dinners day in and day out for months straight, for giving up plans because I ‘just can’t today’, for talking to the waiter at the restaurant when I’m too scared to ask for my own ‘little spoon’ (because big spoons are just too scary to cope with). Like Aurora’sfairies, you gave up so much to protect us from the outside world, and will do everything you can in your power to keep it that way.Thank you for giving up so, so much for us.Because so much of what you do comes at a sacrifice. Thank you for always, always being there for us, no matter what you’re feeling, or how late it is at night.And I know you’re probably worn out, and tired, and dealing with so much that’s happening in your own crazy adult life… But you can’t even begin to understand what just being there does for us.How much you’re doing by just cuddling us. Holding us. Reminding us that we’re loved.Letting us talk your ears off about our newest obsession(or, lets be real… the same obsession we’ve had for the past ten years.)((But you listen anyway. Even though we’ve already spoken about it twenty times… Today alone)).Because sometimes, it’s those tiny, little things that you may not even realise that mean the most to us. Thank you for the fierceness you show.I’ve never met anyone in my life who is as fearless (or as terrifying) as an autism mumma when her child is involved…. Particularly my autism mumma.The amount of times my mum has crashed down the school gates, or called up someone who’s done wrong by me, or lost friendships and relationships… all just to protect me is way, way more times than I can count… and that’s just the times that I was made aware of.Like Koda and his mother… You’re always there to protect me.Because where ever there’s a little cub, there’s a bigger, scarier mumma with sharper teeth  right behind. And she’s ready to fight for her cub.(And be warned, because she can be the scariest person in the whole world.) But, like Bahgeera, you also know how to protect me from myself.You don't let me get ahead of myself, you don't let me wallow in my own pity.And I know, sometimes, that I get upset about that.But I know it's because you love me. Because you see a future for me that's brighter than what I can see for myself.  And autism mummas,I know that some days are hard. I know that some days you feel like you’re getting no where, or that things may never change.I know that some days, maybe you wish that you could crawl under a weighted blanket and cry into your mum’s lap, just like we do.And that’s why I want to honour you, today.Because women are incredible.But autism mumma’s are my heroes.They’re what make these fairytales for all of us have a happy ending. Even if you don’t feel it at times, I want to say this:Your child loves you.Your child appreciates you.Your child needs you.And you are doing so, so incredible. Mum,Thank you for being the Disney fairytale.Thank you for being my Bahgeera, and protecting me from the world, and from myself.Thank you for being my Jenny and Charlie. The people who never give up on me, and always encourage me that my differences don’t make me an exception to greatness.Thank you for being my fairy God Mother.My Mulan.My Flora, and Fauna, and Merryweather.Most of all, thank you for being my very own fairytale character, greater than all other characters.Because there’s something that you have that none of these fairy tale charcters even come close to.You do all of this. Every single day, without stop.Your movie doesn’t have a start or a finish, it keeps on going. And my story can continue on because of you.Thank you.